health advice for women joke

Important Health Advice For Women...


Do you have feelings of inadequacy?


Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions.
White Wine can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with
a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone.

Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine, however women who
wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration,
erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of
money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing,
headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night
rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

positive thinking

“The pessimist sees difficulties in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunities in every difficulty.” Winston Churchill

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain

police rescue dolls-

my O my how things have changed in this world- now baby dolls are in their own car seats and look so real.
By Lynda Johnson
Jul 16, 2008


For many people, Reborn baby dolls are just plain creepy. Others believe they are incredible and love to collect the lifelike dolls. They look so much like a real little baby that they have even fooled the police. That was the case in Australia where police smashed though a window in a locked automobile to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby. The baby wasn't real; it was a reborn baby doll.

Reborn Baby Dolls Bring Rescue Effort, Fool Police

Quick healthy breakfast

Now that the raspberries are in season why not making this very good and healthy breakfast: Natural thick yoghurt (all natural) with acacia honey and fresh raspberries, all sprinkled with pumpkin seeds to give it the crunchiness.

Great Deals this month on Amazon

things you can probably count on joke

These are probably some of the only things that you will be able to depend on being true between now and election day.


1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.